I am Dead

Gareth Wiles

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Why I wrote this book

I wrote I Am Dead to make a social comment on the perceived decline of moral/societal values and the affect this has had on the family unit and the individual within it. Central character Peter Smith may appear insane - but what does that actually mean, and who has the right to label him thus? Maybe he is the only sane one left. The novel explores themes of mental isolation and apathy, a confused individualism versus the mass, dignity and at its core: family.

It differs from other novels in its ‘take no prisoners’ approach to its subject matters. Through the first-person narrative of Peter Smith the reader is dealt a harsh mix of reality versus deceit which charges in all directions down an increasingly slippery slope. Nobody is innocent and nobody is fully to blame. The reader may be the young man who wonders what society really has to offer him, or that old woman who fears what society has planned for her - either way, I Am Dead has something to tell you. So look out.

If you enjoy reading Joseph Conrad, Franz Kafka, D.H. Lawrence then you should enjoy this book.

Synopsis

Peter Smith is dead. No getting away from that. Or is there?

An asocial misanthrope undermines his own initial opinions in the search for his perfect partner and his battle with a mysterious definition-dodging giver and taker of life jumping to and fro through their corporeal timelines.

Being dead is the least of his worries when he finds himself prosecuted in an ethereal court on dubious charges. His brother Stuart is the Prosecutor and wields power over the Judge, who himself lapses into unspoken communications with an unseen entity. Peter is sent to the waiting room, where he re-lives his final day on Earth. We learn of his ambiguous relationship with Mother, with whom he lives alone, and his younger brother Stuart and his wife Diane, who bring news of pregnancy. Devastated at the news, Peter makes a rare exit from his house and dies instantly.

In the courtroom Stuart and the Judge are consumed with the challenges of contacting and entering the mysterious entity The Space, infuriating Peter. He simply cannot understand it. Mother’s love interest The Major then testifies, revealing how Peter let a young woman, Lauren, die. Peter is sent back to die in her place and restore balance. Instead he saves both Lauren and himself, causing a devastating chain of events. Mother dies, Stuart splits up with Diane, Peter enters an awkward and unfulfilling relationship with Lauren and the Judge returns to corporeal form. The Judge becomes The Leader of the nation and unleashes his devastating dignity experiment on the population, putting to death all elderly people. Peter must ultimately choose between his own individual life and the rest of humanity.

But no matter what Peter does in his life, and no matter at which point in his life he returns, he can never get away from the Judge and The Major. He may loose everyone else in his life, but for some reason cannot shake them off. But why? And why exactly is The Space helping him, and what is it?

I Am Dead explores themes of mental isolation and apathy through the main character Peter Smith’s confused individuality versus the mass. Through first-person narration we trace his development from a disturbed lust-driven ‘nothing man’ unable to express himself, to a complex human being burdened with intense love and colliding opinions.

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